


At The Office

by SpaceElephant



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-26
Updated: 2012-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/574008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceElephant/pseuds/SpaceElephant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an AU style fan fiction in which the Avengers work together in an office setting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At The Office

A placard upon the desk read, "Mr. Thor Odinson," and behind it sat a large, blond haired man. He typed and methodically, staring intently at the keyboard as he did so. He threw his arms up in frustration when he looked up at the screen to see that he had somehow managed to close the word application. The phone rang, preventing him from beating his poor computer, "Who speaks?" He stated in a stern tone.

"Mr. Odinson," Thor's boss, Mr. Fury answered, "I'm sending down another HR case to you. Don't let them kill each other."

"Of course, sir." 

A short while later, a man with a well trimmed goatee and a red haired beauty walked into his office, sitting in front of his desk. Thor sighed, "Stark. Again, truly?"

"So it's a crime to compliment a woman now?" Stark scoffed.

"Excuse me," Natasha interjected, giving Stark an angry glare, "Saying, 'hey nice rack,' does not count as a compliment."

Thor held up a hand to stop them, "Stark, you should treat Lady Romanoff with more respect. I believe she broke your collar bone last time you did such a thing?" Natasha smiled wickedly in response, "Perhaps next time, I shall not pull her off you, as you have apparently not learned your lesson."

"Pffft, lady," Natasha punched him in the shoulder. Stark flinched, holding his arms up, "All right! I'm sorry," he grumbled. He turned to Thor, "Are we done yet, Fabio?"

Thor looked at Natasha, who nodded at him, "For now, Stark. Consider yourself lucky."

-

Clint Barton lounged upon his office's break room counter, lazily holding a coffee mug in his hand. He nodded at Thor as he walked in, "Sup, big guy?"

Thor eyed Barton suspiciously as refilled his water bottle at the sink, "Barton, do you know who rearranged my keyboard to spell out 'Thur Fartson?'"

Clint snorted into his mug as he took a drink, almost spilling it on himself. He looked up at Thor, barely contained laughter glinting behind his eyes, "No idea who would do such an immature thing."

A man with wild and curly hair stormed in, rudely knocking into Thor on his way to the coffee machine. With a hand shaking from rage, he poured himself a cup, "God damn copier. I'll through the thing through a window, I swear to-"

"Banner?"

"WHAT?!" Bruce turned upon Clint, slamming the full mug down upon the counter.

Clint gave him a weary grin, "Calm down man, it's all good."

"Indeed, Banner, you should cool thine anger," Thor said, walking towards Bruce.

"Don't, Thor, don't you dare," Bruce growled, backing away from the large man.

Thor smiled widely, walking towards him with outstretched arms, "Do not fight it, Banner, I am helping you," he wrapped his arms around Banner, hugging him tightly. Bruce would have shouted at him, had all the air not been squeezed out of his lungs.

"Hug it out, bros," Clint laughed.

-

"Mr. Stark, wake up," Steve glared at the man, leaned back in his chair, chin resting upon his chest. Clint flicked a peanut into his ear and Stark woke with a start. "This is a very important meeting, so please try not stay awake."

Stark gave him a two fingered salute, "Aye-aye, captain."

Rogers clapped his hands together, "Lets get started," He stood before a white board, with all their sales figures projected upon it. "This quarter we saw a fall in our sales. Unacceptable, people. Natasha, get on that distributor's case, work your magic and bring down his prices. Clint, stop taking so many coffee breaks."

A hurt expression crossed his face, "Boss, I'm offended."

Steve just ignored him, continuing like he said nothing, "Bruce," Banner looked up, squinting at him slightly from behind his glasses, "just... don't try and smash the copier again. Thor, you've gotta- STARK!"

Tony's head had been nodding slowly, until it finally thudded on the table. He sat up quickly, "Great plan boss, I'll get right on it," He got up and rushed out the room, punching Clint in the arm on his way out.

"Hey!" Clint chased after him, followed closely by Thor, who was yelling something about the safety hazards of running in the office.

Natasha buried her face in her hands, "Can I kill them, Rogers, please?"  
-

"Brother, you have not even tried them," Thor pouted at the man seated across from him. He and his adopted brother sat at a cafe near the buildings they worked in, taking a lunch break together. Thor lounged with his suit jacket slung over his chair, sleeves rolled up and tie slightly loosened. Loki sat upright, clad in carefully starched suit and a tasteful scarf. "I baked them myself," Thor said, waving a cookie he had produced from a little brown bag in front of his brother.

"Then I shall definitely -not- be eating any," Loki scowled at his goofy brother, arms crossed in irritation. "You have never been skilled in culinary arts, to put it kindly."

"Loki, you wound me," Thor put the treat back in the brown bag and finished the rest of his remaining coffee. His phone then buzzed with a text message:

Thor, come quick, your wife is here. I don't know much longer I can survive listening to her and Darcy discuss their vile womanly things. - Barton

"I must go," Thor said as he rose from his chair, "I shall leave these here, if you change your mind," he placed the little bag of cookies on the table. Thor grabbed his jacket, hugged his brother -who turned bright red- and walked off.

Loki waited until his brother disappeared around a corner, then grabbed the bag and stuffed it in his jacket. He scampered off in the opposite direction towards his own office.

-

Clint Barton's eyes flicked about the room, cautiously scanning for onlookers as he folded up a piece of paper upon his desk. The only witness seemed to be a slumbering Tony at the desk in front of him. Acquiring the desired shape, Clint wheeled his chair carefully sideways until he had a clear shot at Thor's office. Clint expertly tossed the paper airplane forward, sending it whizzing through Thor's open office door. It banked left and collided with the man's forehead. Quickly, Clint wheeled back and began typing intently at his computer.

Thor grabbed the paper from his desk, irritation hot across his features. He unfolded it, frown deepening as he read its contents:

Dear Thor, your people are in dire trouble. You are our only hope. Love, Europe.

He smashed the paper in his hands, glaring directly over at Barton's desk. Thor grabbed another piece of paper, angrily scribbled something on it. He crumpled it up and tossed it towards the other man's desk. The paper bounced off of Tony, who incoherently mumbled something, shifting in his sleep, and landed on Clint's keyboard.

Barton opened the paper with a sheepish grin, which faded as soon as he read the message:

Look behind you.

With a slow, painfully squeaky movement, Clint rotated his chair around, and saw the imposing figure of Mr. Fury standing directly behind him.

"Working hard, Mr. Barton?" Fury stated nonchalantly.

"Yes sir," Clint responded, looking back at his computer screen and realizing with a cringe that, in an effort to look busy, he'd just been typing nonsense for the past few minutes.

Fury raised the one eyebrow that wasn't covered by an eye-patch, "You'll have that report to me by the close of business today," he glanced over at Stark, "Every time that he falls asleep is one extra day that you'll spend cleaning the bathrooms and the break room. Got it?"

"Loud and clear, sir," with that the boss walked away and Clint slapped Tony hard on the back of the head, "Wake up you slacker!"

"Ow! Hey, what gives?" Tony lurched awake, swatting Barton away.

"The one eyed slayer of men has told me to keep you awake or else."

"Or else...?"

"Or else I'm the new janitor. And I need to get this report done, so please, try and keep your head up."

"Ha! You didn't do your report yet? Now who's the slacker?" Tony flashed a grin at him, "Tell you what: You let me sleep, and I'll do your report."

"No."

"But-"

"I'll glue your eyelids open if I have to."

"Point taken," Another piece of paper hit the back of Tony's head. He picked it up and looked over at Thor, who seemed to be deeply contemplating something on his monitor. Stark opened it, and cracked a smile. "It's for you," He said, handing it over to Clint. It read:

Thor: 1  
Barton: 0

"Damn you, Fabio..."


End file.
